It has once again been a while since I have updated… So here’s an update!
So, I haven’t really been writing. There’s no good reason for it, just that several life things got in the way for a bit, and I haven’t been able to pick up again since. It happens from time to time, nothing to be alarmed about. What it does mean however, is blog posting has ground to a halt. And I’m sorry about that, I really am.
That’s quite a loaded question, isn’t it? It’s also a question I don’t have a definitive answer to, in case you’re someone who came looking for that. I don’t think anyone can answer it for anyone else; the best I can do here is tell you what it means to me and hope you take something from it, whether it’s enjoyment, inspiration, or something more useful.
This is the third or fourth week in a row of me trying to write something about Telltale’s Walking Dead game. For some reason that I have yet to ascertain, it’s not happening. I want to write about it, and I feel like I have a lot to say about it, but I can’t seem to translate it onto the page. I’ll leave it at this. As a piece of interactive fiction, it’s spectacular. Probably my game of the year, the best written Walking Dead thing ever, and if you haven’t played it, go remedy that.
Wow, it’s been a long time since I updated, huh? Between a hard drive crash, finishing my university work, and moving home, it’s been a struggle to find time to write anything, let alone a blog post. It is unfortunate that I have lost my dedicated writing space, but I should have something more permanent set up at home fairly soon. Until then, it’s a case of writing in bed or on the couch in front of the television. Neither particularly conducive to the creative process, but it is what it is.
Since I haven’t written in a while, I’ll be easing myself back into the process with some short form work before diving head first into anything long term. I’ve tentatively started work on the first of these. It was originally an idea I had for a novel, but there’s sadly not enough story there for a long form story, so I’ve condensed the idea into a shorter story that should fall somewhere between five and ten thousand words. I’ll be dividing it into chapters and posting it on my blog as I go along, so keep an eye out if you’re interested in seeing that. It’s a horror story, and I’m treating it as an exercise in world building and creating an atmosphere as well as hopefully telling an emotional story. I’m excited to have the opportunity to share it with everyone.
Beyond all of this procrastination, I have found the time to read some books, go to the cinema a few times and live tweet the E3 press conferences. I’ll leave out my opinion of the E3 conferences because it’s well documented in my Twitter history. Like most of the internet however, I was underwhelmed.
Sadly, I found myself feeling the same way about Prometheus. Alien is one of my favourite films, so I had very high hopes for Ridley Scott’s return to this universe, but the film was kind of a mess, especially the second act. It hasn’t been out long enough for the moratorium on spoilers to be up, so I’ll skip the details. There were, however, several moments where characters who were supposedly intelligent made unreasonably stupid decisions. As a fan of storytelling, seeing characters act out of character just to further the plot annoyed me a lot more than it probably should have.
Speaking of books, I recently read the newest China Mieville novel Railsea. It may be one of the only stories I’ve read that managed to break the fourth wall and not be completely obnoxious about it. Recommended for anyone in the mood for a clever adventure story with some steampunk tendencies. It helped to cement Mieville as one of my favourite modern authors.
Anyway, enough procrastinating, back to work on this short story and preparing my desk upstairs. Oh, and buying post-it notes. Impossible for me to organise without post-it notes.
If you’d asked me just yesterday, I’d have told you the mountain of uni work ahead seems insurmountable. Hell, just last night I had a mini crisis. Today, that’s changed. Today, my first report has been completed. That first hurdle has been cleared.
I wasn’t being sardonic in the title, for most people who read this, this will be of little interest. The problems of strangers or even friends can seem so tiny when compared to our own struggles, but these problems are mine to deal with, and this is my way of dealing with them. While I’ve been writing every day, it’s report upon report. Dry language, nothing but the facts. Fuck, I’m not even allowed to write it in first person, even though it’s assessing my contributions to projects, or my take on events.
I feel like I’ve been living in third person lately. I wake up early, I stay up late, sleep eluding me in my anxious, constantly switched on state. Days have become a blur of working fervently in a quiet library, only music or shockingly dark humour breaking the monotony. God damn it, today I took a couple of hours out, tried to chat to a friend about the latest issues of Batman, and even that was a struggle. I think we were both so focused on work, the conversation was practically robotic, a forced attempt at levity. I hope I didn’t come across as uninterested, I was just distracted by constant nagging worries.
What I’m doing right now seems less like living and more like existing. Life has been a routine lately, a single purpose, tunnelled in by what needs to be done rather than what I actually want. What I want is to write creatively again, but I don’t have the time. Until then, this will have to do. Sixteen days. Nearly there.